Ok, so my writings are never going to be full reviews of the show. I'm just going to pick one or two particular things each week and talk about them as if I'm morally offended by the depiction of my generation. Mwua ha ha!
So this week it will be Marnie and Marnie + Booth Jonathan.
1.) First off, who the fuck cries over HPV? As Gawker so perfectly points out, over 50% of human adults have it. And who the fuck cries when their friend calls them with news like that? Even if your friend calls with crabs, chlamydia, or a baby, you still don't fucking cry. You just don't. It's totally dick and might make them feel worse. Unless it's bed bugs. That is worth crying over/defriending on Facebook, and it is never appropriate to joke about (ahem, my sister).
2.) Why the fuck don't the rest of the ladies go to Marnie's art show party. Honestly, this is the most fun part about living in New York: Free booze and knowing that you will never be dressed the craziest of all the people in a visible radius. It's like a frat party for adults. And jeezus that is a sparsely attended opening; even UES openings do better.
3.) Marnie + Booth: WTF Booth, really? Okay, I can't comment on sleeping with or even considering my fellow artists. But for those of you who find them appealing, I'll concede that the swagger of the artist has its appeal. God knows that's why people dig me!
Anyways, How is "give less of a fuck" not a "go away?" How did they jump from that awkwardness at the gallery to dancing off to the High Line and how did they not have enough sexual tension adrenaline to climb the High Line and fuck among the tiny fairies that I once hallucinated there? (On a minor note, that gallery looks more LES than Chelsea).
AND THEN! the worst thing ever was said: “I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little, because I’m a man, and I know how to do things.” My successful artist/architecture mid-20s fashionable roommate and I both agree that shiite like that would make us instantly lose our cloner (clit boner). That's like announcing to the world that you fuck like you have a big dick (and don't.) Even those that have a big dick shouldn't fuck this way.
On a related note, why would Booth Jonathan want to seduce Marnie in the first place? She's a attractive girl, but she isn't a gallery owner or anyone important. She can't advance his career, and he seems like the type of guy who bed hops solely for that purpose. Ok, so maybe he wants a quickie fling, but then why doesn't he do her right there? Or at the hourly motel around west 14th? Or among the fairies that live on the High Line?
Ok, cloner? I think you are a genius. I am totally using that from now on, forever.
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